i wish i could tie you up in my shoes, make you feel unpretty too.

I had a really beautiful moment with my mother today. I came downstairs after getting ready for the day and I sat down next to her. She put one hand on my face and looked me in the eye and said, 'you have such a beautiful face, you hide behind your hair. I told everyone how beautiful you were at the cabaret.'

This is type of moment does not happen often with my mother, she is not that sentimental. Although emotional she shows affection is different ways than most. It was really nice to hear that from my mother, because she is my mom and because I do hide. If I could change one thing about me it would be my face, i just don't really like it. The rest of me I have no issues with. Growing up in high school I did not think I was attractive at all, I look different from most people. My face is not one that you would see on the cover of a magazine.

I did a project in choir, you had to take a song make a poster and sing it in front of the class. Chelsey was my partner. My mother had a cheep old mirror and on it it said in big red letters, you are looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. :)

The song we did for our project was, Unpretty by TLC.

sacred heart.

I have been spending a lot of time recently with someone that I do not really like. It is interesting, I am beginning to appreciate them and understand our differences. I think that they are doing the same thing. It is really a nice thing.

I talk a big talk, I can be very opinionated about people. However when I am around them, I can not help but be taken in by their heart. Even if it is buried and covered by layers life has placed on top of it. Something I have struggled with in the past is the ability to see someones truth and not be taken advantage of. It is easy to ignore the BS and see the person underneath it all. However just because you can ignore it does not mean that it will not eventually have an effect on you.

Maybe I forgive and forget to easily? I am not sure. There is not much point in holding on to things, unless maybe there is a specific purpose and lessons need to be taught.

It really surprised me, how we are able to get along. It is a good thing though, because we will be spending a lot of time together from now until the end of march. :)

built in the clouds a foundation of stone

The cabaret was amazing! I can not believe that it went off as well and it did. It was like someone removed every piece of negativity from that room and that was how it felt. Everyone had such a great time, I did not hear one bad thing about the show. Some how it managed to entertain both my mother, my friends, some hipsters and whomever else showed up. I would say that is a wide range in perspectives. Yesterday I literally jumped up and down in the shower I was so pleased with the show. My mother even suggested that I go into theater production! That I find particularly amusing.

I could tell right away, as soon as the actors got together the show would work. I put Amanda on sound, she was having an awful day and she came because she committed to the show. I was so grateful to have her there, she make the whole thing run smoothly, she even paid the venue owner for me and kept track of the money. Seriously I have amazing friends.

Tamara was great, she is already talking about doing another one. I guess we will have to get together sometime next week to see what we are going to do with the momentum. We might just have to do it again.

There is a cabaret in Bellingham on Dec 15th and they do it every month! I do not want to do it that often but once a season I could handle...