the human genius

So if you do not know by now I have embarked on the fateful path that will lead my to my BA. Assuming you read that correctly I have returned to school for the final performance. One thing that is has helped me to remember is how much I enjoy learning. I always knew this, but to be immersed in a educational atmosphere can really remind a person of such things. Even if that person disagrees with the fundamental principles of the organization and the way it is structured. :)

One of the classes that I am taking is called Religion In Context, and my required reading is a dense philosophy book 'The Religious Sense', written by an Italian Catholic Priest employed at the Vatican named Luigi Giussani. What I read today really intrigued me. The author spoke about intuition, and about how how it is logical and reasonable to use intuition to perceive the world. Examples used talked about how you can not measure or quantify a mothers love for her child, things like feelings can not be measured but are as real as the computer I type on. Obviously this is an over simplification of his argument, but he took this premise and applied it to faith. Another interesting fact is he did not say what faith or has he even mentioned a God of any kind.

I wish that the people who make the church, who convert the folds, who are essentially the face that the majority of us commoners see of the church. Were required to have a philosophy degree. Not at one point in my time as a Catholic, was such an idea touched upon. Not to say that these people did not have good hearts but the people talking with authority do not understand what they preach.

I consider myself and person who intuits the world, which brings me a greater appreciation for this author.

"This is the human genius, the genius that is able to read the truth of behaviour, of the man's way of life. The more powerfully human one is, the more one is able to perceive with certainty." (Giussani, 20)

This sentence touches upon what I would call the meaning of life, according to Claudia. To become fulling whole, to be a person without Samakaras, without a veil covering our eyes to the truth. Giussani used, powerfully human, when I read it I hear, the truth that lies at the core of every persons being. The person we are truly supposed to be. I guess once we hit that, we are enlightened? in heaven? I dont really know and am not sure that I need to. When we reach that place, I think that we will meet God.

FYI, I have to write Journal entry's for this class, so I am not procrastinating at all with this blog post. :)

People get ready theres a train a comin', you don't need not baggage you just get on board.

I had the saddest experience last night and I really feel like I should talk about it. Nothing tragic happened to me, it was more my heart breaking on another's account.

I go to this wonderful yoga class with one of my favourite instructors Sjanie Mcinnis every Friday. This class is a special class, it is called Big Rock, held at Yoga for the People a by donation yoga space. If a fabulous instructor and a great space didn't not make the class great enough, the musical accompaniment to these fluid asanas is none other than, Pink Floyd, Led Zepplen, Van Morrison, Super Tramp and a host of other wonderful rock and blues artists. The space created during this class allows you to be completely free, I am not sure one can not help but be free when in the middle of a grueling asana with a Rock Opera playing in the back ground. In fact one can not help but melt into earth and connect with the people and the music and the space.

Last night, Sjanie very articulately described the experience that we all feel in this class. Through the form that keeps us safe, that we are yoga students all know and are reminded of every day, we are allowed to be free. It creates this space through which we can grow from. Just like in Jazz, you know the bars, the melody, the structure, then you play. Like Dawn Hampton would say, "You go to class and you learn the steps and you learn the moves. Then you get out on the floor and throw all that shit out the window and dance." Freedom, isn't that something we are all searching for, freedom to be happy, to be ourselves? That is the big quest isn't, the purpose of our existence, to become so fully ourselves that we glow. That we are no longer limited by ourselves and the limitations we have put on ourselves. I love Dawn Hampton, if you do not know her look her up. She is phenomenal.

So, I know that this is all happy, but I needed to set up the scene. So I leave this class full of freedom and passion, just to be confronted by someone who was so caught in the rules of the game. So afraid of their own existence. Someone posted on-line an article about how Catholics should not do yoga.

I do not really even want to comment on the article, because I do not think the details of it need commenting, you either agree with it or you do not. What I feel when I see things like that and when I read discussions around it, I really just want to cry. Not for myself, for the people who hold to this belief. The fear is plain to see, and most do in fact see it. I do not think that all people need to do yoga and love it, although I am a big fan, everyone has the right to do whatever they want. However when you fail to see the truth in things that support other people, that hasn't brought any harm to your personal well being, that you do not really know anything about because you haven't tried, then you are not free.

Revolutionary Road

Is I think my worst nightmare, Revolutionary Road, a movie. It is everything that I do not want in life but am afraid I will get trapped into. It is a little of what I am experiencing now, maybe this is a bad trait, seeing parts of myself in movies, here in Coquitlam. That is why it has been so hard, that is why I have been so sad. We try to make the right choices, decisions, to take us somewhere, anywhere but where we are. In the end we just find ourselves right where we started. Are we afraid? Silly question, because I know the answer. I met with two friends today, old ones, not really friends, anymore, for food. They are on Revolutionary Road, it is scary to me to see them, because I cant not see how it could be happy. Maybe accepting that is where we are going to end up is easier than fighting it. That way when we end up there we are there because we made the choice, not because we fought and failed. Why is it that we do not want to end up like our parents? It makes the most sense that we would be like them, because we are them. On the most basic cellular level and intrinsically through how we learn, everything we learn, habits and patterns are from them. Right and wrong. I mean, is it a bad thing? Or is it just life? Just like it is easier to take the low road. The path has already been walked and we know the destination.