waltzing matilda

I was in savasana today and I imagined that I was covered in soil, beautiful healing Okanagan soil. As I was lying there the sun reached through the trees outside the window and touched my face. I continued to lie and from my body, nurtured by the sun and soil, a little sprout popped out. Just a little baby seedling. You know the kind that are really fragile and need lots of support and love to become whole. As savasana ended and I sat up the soil fell off my body, my face and I was me again. Except for the little sprout was me, is me.

This trip has been so healing for me in so many ways. I wasn't able to fully realise until this moment. I wanted to cry. I have since made it home and am at my computer. Listening to piano music. :)

I am a new person, today.

Fuck! I am a loser.

Me and Julio Down by the School Yard

I know I talk about my emotions a lot, but I am an emotional person. This last little while my emotions have been so strong. I see the world so clearly through them. My weekend in Van, my time here in the Okanagan. I guess I am just glad to be an emotional person, I havent been glad for that before, I've always wanted to be tough, one of the boys. I have spent my entire life doing things on my own, proving that I can do anything by myself and I dont need other people. The funny thing is I do need them, all of them, I am them. I guess thats what happens when you are all water. I conducted this little experiment when I was talking with this guy at my yoga studio, it was strange. As I look at him, during our conversation, I saw so clearly how differently we viewed the world. It was almost painfully obvious. Anyways, I should go back to work. I just wanted to pour some consciouness out.

Reflection

It is interesting to see what kind of a person I can be when I am in a different place. At the base of it all I know I am still me, still the same soul. This evening I participated in an art show. It is one of those shows that is great because the observer is part of the performance. This artist is great, I really like him, he is an artist, without pretension, he just creates and in turn puts himself on display for others to agree with or take offense to. Half way through the show some cops came, they said that his work was offensive and made him, with a sharpe, scribble out the offensive parts that were displayed outside the gallery on a poster. They were a part of the performance also, they did not realise it though. Made for interesting conversation.

I like art for the controversy that it creates, like dance, trying to expand our minds. Creating a revolution. Olympia, is my favorite example of this. She is a beautiful painting, considered pornography in her day, she looked men and women in the eye unashamed of her nudity. Unashamed of her position in society, looking the viewer in the eye, making them question their own beliefs. I am sure that if there were sharpes when she was painted a censorship would have taken place. JUst like the great castration, A time when the Church went and broke the genitalia off of all male nudes sculptures. I love Art and I love controversy, they are so beautiful. So important in our history, in our culture.