Understanding today.

Because someone asked at one point, I have come to an understanding about being Jewish today. The main thing that prevented me from identifying with the group was that I did not know how I should feel about the Holocaust. Should I feel different about it because it happened to my family? I would have died in a concentration camp therefore, people always tell me, I should feel different about it.

I was talking about it with my professor this morning, for some reason he was able to put it into context or maybe I was ready to hear it this morning. He asked me it someone came my house and told my mother and I to get on a train what would my father do. Because I am so close with my father, he is my favourite person in the world, it made it real. I can deal with suffering happening to me I can handle the thought of my hurt or death, but not to my parents. That choice being something that would destroy my father. Choose to die and stay with the ones that you love, or choose to live and lose all those that you love.

Now I finally understand what it means to have the holocaust as part of my collective history. As something that also happened to me. I am not any different as a person living day to day, I am not sad as I thought I might be. Just reflective.

I am not sure if you wanted to know all this, but I wanted to share it with someone. I know it is not a light topic for a Monday morning. Do not feel like you have to respond, it was cathartic for me to write it out.