There is this illusion around town about me. Even my closest friends are suspect to it, no one really knows about it and when they find out often the react in disbelief. For some reason people think that I am infallible and that I am incapable of an emotion other than happy or joy that I am completely content in my life. I hesitate at this point because I wonder if sending my words out into the internet really will serve any good. I am not looking for sympathy or false affections, because those will disappear. You tell someone that you are sad and they comfort you for a short time and then life resumes as normal. I just wish that people would stop creating this person that does not exist and putting me in her place.
There are a few people, my parents, Jenn, that understand. They are both away right now and I seem to not be able to hold in my emotions at the moment. In fact I cried three times today. I know it is shocking, Claudia does not cry. She is always happy and busy, doing the things that she loves, she is going somewhere in life.
Yes I am sad right now, in case you have not figured that out by now.
I guess I perpetuate the myth. I do not mind being viewed as this fictional person that people believe me to be.
See at this point I wonder if there is a point to this post. When you need love it is hard to come by.
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