I am finding a lot of comfort right now, when I put my thoughts onto paper, when my stream of consciousness moves from my head to my heart, through my hands and onto a piece of paper, out into the universe. I think I should rename my blog stream, because that is all it is, I try to put my thoughts on paper and make them understandable to a person that is not inside my head and I can not fathom them making sense. Some times on nights like tonight, all I can do is sit and feel, all thoughts leave my brain and reasoning disappears and I am me. Fully and completely me, inside the cave that is my heart. There are times when I try to invite people in, when I welcome them into the stream and hope that they can swim, because if they can maybe there will be a glimpse of me inside there perception. Maybe a glimpse of themselves.
Today in yoga we contemplated 'the ecstatic opening of the un-raptured heart', interestingly enough spell check does not even recognize un-raptured as a word. Even when I put a hyphen in it. Maybe I just can spell. How can you contemplate a word that does not even exist in spell check. It would appear that dictionary.com also does not understand this word, but if we are to look at the word, 'rapture', ecstatic joy or delight; joyful ecstasy. Then place, 'un', a prefix meaning “not,” freely used as an English formative, giving negative or opposite force in adjectives and their derivative adverbs and nouns, in front of it. Then one can assume that an un-raptured heart is in fact a heart that is not ecstatic or joyful.
Moving on to 'ecstatic', of, pertaining to, or characterized by ecstasy. One can assume that the ecstatic opening of the un-raptured heart is, a heart not filled with joy, being opened in fits of over whelming emotion to allow the entrance of ecstasy? hmm.... I am not sure if that is how I see it, but according to dictionary.com that is what it means. How about expanding and opening your heart to let God in? How about becoming fulling yourself by being fully open? How about being excited at the possibility of complete and utter joy. Maybe I am crazy, can you imagine how it would change you life if you attempted to achieve this opening. If you cant imagine that, think of how your yoga practice would change if every time you did a back bend you fully expanded yourself so as to open you heart as much as it could. Open your heart so that, like Hanuman you ripped your chest open exposing your heart. Hanuman for those who dont know and are reading these words is an India God who is depicted as ripping his heart open, for what reason I do not know why.
Exhaling slowly.
Stream.
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Hanuman was ripping his chest open to show the loving couple. Rama and Sita, who were embedded there in it. Somebody, maybe even Rama, had accused Hanuman of helping save Sita because he loved her and wanted her for himself. Hanuman opened his chest to disprove this, to show that we can love without wanting to possess for ourselves. Sort of to show that we do behave altruistically.
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